24.5.06

Hey... don't take your life away

So I had it in the back of my mind that I would give Andy one more chance. But only because we'll both be in Utah at the same time, annnd because of what he told Jesse. I don't know... I guess I've come to the conclusion that it probably hurts more that he would fill my mind with empty promises, then the fact that he actually did. (Again.) That may not make sense, but it should. Yes.

I'm afraid of letting it go, because we really ARE on the same page. But that may be the reason it's not working. We can't really feed off of each other, if we make the same mistakes.

I've decided that I have to be stubborn, and not let any feelings blind me. Everything's so right when we're together, but the second we're apart... literally, as soon as he's like a block away from me, it feels wrong. And I know why... it's because I have no trust in him. Not when I can't see him. And I have very good reasons for that... Hm.

So if I run into him while I'm out there, it's going to be very hard. ...Ahh. But I want to see him! Because I care about him as a person... but I'll probably get swept away in a moment.


Gay.

I'm afraid to go out there. I am.

And there is someone else involved, that I can't really talk about. But this person is the most important in the picture, and makes everything else seem petty. I just don't know what to do. The only thing I'm holding on for is August.



"I never thought we'd meet, until I said, 'how do you do, my love?'."

You'll fall.
You'll fall, I know you will.

11.5.06

Shit yeah, it's COOL!

I, I, I, I, I, I, forgot to sleep last night! I, I, I, Iiii am so fucking hyper! Ahhhhh.
I have to go to work now. Bye.

oh wait. june. utah. utahns.

july. indiana. jessie.


confusion with andy.

sucks about the tatts. guess i'll do them myself.

Simonize, always. always, always, always.



But ultimately,
"I don't need a better thing, I've settled for less. ...It's another thing for me. I just have to wander through this world alone."