"There was just something different about this person that I had met and I knew that we were going to write beautifully together"

Specifically; I'm falling in love with someone. waaait, wait, wait... I'm falling in love at someone. You know, like 'I love him, but I can't have him' sort of thing. But it's not exactly like that. Being serious now, I probably could have him if I'd just talk about it with him. But I can never do that, because that would cause other people pain, it would break apart something that is special to someone. And who really knows what people will say or do? Maybe he wouldn't want what I do. But I'm too scared of either result to even take the risk. So I can live without... I just don't know how I'm going to watch him slip away again. ...Pain beats feeling nothing though. It reminds me that I can still get hurt, which just comfirms that I am still alive. So in a way I'm welcoming the situation despite how sad it really is. This time tomorrow, I will probably want it gone. In the end, it's good songwriting material.
=shamae=

Hand in mine into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you,
"We could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition, too.
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets".

I'm trying... I'm trying to let you know
Just how much you mean to me.
And after all the things we've put each other through...

I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full.
And I feel like there's nothing left to do,
But prove myself to you...
And we'll keep it running.

But this time I mean it,
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything.

I'm trying... I'm trying to let you know
How much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow...
And we grow cold.

Until the end, until this.
I mean this. I mean this.

But this time, we'll show them.
We'll show them all how much we mean.
As snow falls on desert sky, Until the end of every...







All we are...All we are is bullets.
I mean this.
All we are...All we are is bullets.
I mean this.
All we are...All we are is bullets.
I mean this.
All we are...All we are is bullets.
I mean this.







As lead rains, we pass on through
Our phantoms, forever, forever.
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame,
We're burning forever and ever.

Know how much I want to show you you're the only one.

Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons
In
This
Gun.

And as we're falling down,
And in this pool of blood,
And as we're touching hands...
I'll see your eyes.
I'll meet your eyes.
I mean this. Forever.

Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance

Don't be concerned, you know I'll be fine on my own. ...I never said, "don't go"

I hope you do the same, sugar.

I don't know who reads this. I don't think I'd want to read it if I were some of you guys. lol. My blog went to Hell. SUCK. At least I have Alice... I think. Anyway, I'm moving tomorrow, I don't know how much I'll be blogging after tonight. I'm also not telling anyone where I'm moving... because it's mysterious and impulsive. haha! oh geeze. I would like to clarify that I don't hate God and I don't feel like I'm too good for the church. Just don't believe in it and feel kind of bummed that I spent some of my life going for something that I find misleading. I'm sorry if I offend. But I'm over it, so we should all be over it together. I would also like to clarify that I am currently sober. But it's not like I will be for long. Hopefully I will be able to use music instead of drugs... that would be cool! I would aslo like to clarify that yes, I am a bitter person. I would also like to clarify, that I generally like me. And I can totally see why someone would not like me, it's cool. If you want to keep in touch, you'll find a way, buddy (despite the fact that I'm changing my phone number, email address, and moving. hahah!). Also, the new Thrice album should be very moving.

=shamae=

Let's nuke the bridge we've torched 2,000 times before. ..and this time we'll blast it all to Hell.

*shutter*

I can't believe that I let things go so far. ughhghghgh
-shamae-


Take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you
Because all that's left has gone away and there's nothing there
for you to prove

Oh look what you've done
you've made a fool of everyone

Give me back my point of view because I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say, "what should I do?"
well you choose.

Oh, look what you've done
you've made a fool of everyone.

Look What You've Done by Jet


This city's breaking down on a camel's back.
They just have to go because they dont know whack
So all of you fill the streets it's appealing to see.
You wont get out the county because you're bad and free
You've got a new horizon it's ephemeral style.
Melancholy town where we never smile.
And all I wanna hear is the message beep.
My dreams, they gotta catch me because I don’t get sleep, no.

Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz


I've got it now.
Like a thorn in my side the size of a cadilac
Drive it through.
Because backing out now would be next to impossible.

'97 by Alkaline Trio

warning signs and symptoms

Today...at 7:58 am... I almost shat myself.
-Shamae-


"Thoughts are the shadows of feelings, always darker, emptier, and simpler. I don't care if they're fake or real, I just thank them for showing up at all. I have black periods. Who does not? But they are not a part of me; they are not a part of illness, but a part of my being. What am I saying? I have the courage to have them. Four o' clock in the morning. This sucks."


I can't go on
You said my head's too heavy
I need that song
Those trusty chords could pull me through

And early on
They saw the warning signs and symptoms
All day long
We sit and dream of better days

Where we'd hit the ground running on empty stories we've been told
And all those nights we spent together never felt this fucking cold
When we let the car run in the driveway and kiss you one last time
Before we brought the horses in
before the storm of '59.

I can't go on
These limbs have grown too heavy
I need that song
A night on earth could pull me through

And early on
They saw the warning signs and symptoms
All day long
Wonder how far from here we'll fall

Before we hit the ground running on empty stories we've been told
And all those nights we spent together never felt this fucking cold
When we let the car run in the driveway, I kiss you one last time
Before we brought the horses in
before the storm of '59.

Warbrain by Alkaline Trio

Maybe you're not into this....

...but I think you should be. I think you should at least go here and read a little bit. Because honestly, us and our kids and our grandkids are going to be paying for Bush's antics. Not to mention all the rights that are being taken away from us. Just doin' my part, not forcing anything. ...although you'd have to be a freakin' dip smack not to join. ....but it's your choice, whatever, I'm down. I dig.

Shut Up and Play

This is an unreleased song by My Chemical Romance. It will be on their next album. Since I obviously never heard it before the concert, I was trying to catch the lyrics, but man...I was just so entranced by the music. Literally, I felt like I was on the verge of crying, but it was too good... for some reason, the song just got me. Took my breath away. I got a tingling in my stomache and had to shake off the chills. So through my 'conections' and a lot of listening, I thhhink I got the lyrics down, and if they're not exact, it's really close). If they really are the lyrics, I'm just blown away even more....especially from how much they mean for one thing going on in my life right now. Every second I listen to the song helps....every second.



Another sad song, with nothing to say
About a life long, wait for a hospital stay
If you believe that I'm wrong
...this never meant nothing to you

I waited so long, for someone to say
If you could hold on, I could get you to say
If you believe that I'm gone
...this never meant nothing to you

Another sad song, with nothing to say
About a life long, wait for a hospital stay
If you believe that I'm wrong
...this never meant nothing to you

I'll have you hold on
and get me to say
You get the hard parts
or maybe just all mistakes

Maybe we'll just...shut up and play.

You never did me nothin, to you never did me....

Another sad song, with nothing to say
About a life long, wait for a hospital stay
If you believe that I'm wrong,
this never meant nothing to you

If you would hold on
and get me to say
You've got the hardest part...
or maybe just all mistakes
we never really laughed too much anyway

.... just go.
Just go away.
And don't you ever come back again.
And when you go, run, don't walk.
And when you're steamed, scream don't talk.
Where did you hide?

Another sad song, with nothing to say
about a life long, wait for a hospital stay
We never really laughed too much anyway

Another sad song, with nothing to say
About a life long, wait for hospital stay

Maybe we'll just shut up and play
You never really got it...
No, you never really got it at all.

Sink!

Not one more word tonight!!
Between here and there,
we'll put a distance the size of the ocean....

So now his heart can beat
a skipping rhythm. As the cadence carries me,
I almost drift away
far enough to forget that when it comes
you cannot hesitate.

And when found I will write an account
and seal it in an envelope
addressed to your last known residence.

And we sink, and we drown
and what is lost can never be found.
Well these arms did swim until the lungs pulled in.
The panic was lost in a deep understanding
that you will see what is wrong with everything.
What is wrong with you and me?

... they make all the right reasons to fuck it up.
You're gonna fuck it up.